I do think in all those years my understanding of music is fine.
My mixes sound good while i mix.
But mastering was not something i did like at all.
Spending time on mixing and hearing gets fattique, it is painstaking.
And comparing on different speakers, mixing with headphones (i have a wife) is rude.
I found AAMS on the net and 3 months later i got the pro version.
Still happy with that, surviving is one thing, surpassing is another.